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Friday, August 22, 2014

Terrell Owens to Join Liverpool

When talking with his staff about who should replace Luis Suarez this coming season, LFC boss Brendan Rodgers is reported to have said,
"You know what?  Let's go with someone with just as much of a chance as Suarez to miss a considerable amount of games due to disciplinary action."
 It was then it hit him... Terrell Owens! What other professional athlete combines sheer talent, and complete lack of respect for authority and/or his peers as well as the famous T.O.? No one, that's who! After contacting the former NFL wide out and securing his move to Anfield, Rodgers addressed the media saying,
"We were just going to miss that element of surprise when Luis played, like 'Oooh I wonder if today's the day he snaps and really takes chunk out of some one', you know?  With Owens we can return to that state of constantly wondering if we're about to loose our star due to something stupid that he did."
Owens opened up his career with the Reds with the following statement,
"The teams really not that good, honestly I don't know how were going to win with...whoever our coach is, and if we want to have a successful year we should totally bring in... I don't know, someone from your biggest rival maybe, cause they're better."
Cut to reality...

As you probably know already since it's been plastered over every sports outlet, Balotelli is returning to England.  The Reds have been looking all summer for a suitable replacement for Luis Suarez, but have they found it in "Super Mario"?  There's an interesting piece on Bleacher Report by Nick Miller, where he claims that Balotelli is less of a risk than Suarez was (with Suarez's biting and racial abuse scandals in mind) but I'm not completely sold on that.
Since the beginning of his senior carer, Balotelli has been plagued by scandal, both on the field (like his contentious relationship with former coach Jose Mourhino) and off (all of his antics).  Some, like Miller, claim that most of the scrutiny is un-just or over hyped, but look at the "antics" link above and you judge for yourself if any of the 21 (we'll exclude him meeting the pope) incidents aren't warning signs for someone who has an issue controlling himself.
Now, the argument could be made that while Suarez was not almost constantly in trouble of some fashion (like Balotelli tends to be), whenever he was disciplined, it was a multiple match ban, which for a team as centered around a single player, like Liverpool was, can be devastating (Not to mention I personally feel that biting three separate individuals is a disturbing trend and have no doubt in my mind that he will land himself another multiple match ban for something ridiculous).  However, the disruptions caused by a constant flow of negative media attention can be just as detrimental, not only on the teams ability to preform effectively, but also on the collective mentality of a team.  It's the Terrell Owens effect.  Just like T.O., Balotelli is a seriously talented individual player with a ton of potential, but his ability to preform is constantly interrupted by his own poor decision making or ego.  He not only has shown that he consistently flouts the rules set forth by managers and their staff, but engages in dangerous behaviors that could get him hurt (like crashing his car or setting his house on fire).
Honestly, in the end, this transfer will judged purely on how well Balotelli can fill the goal scoring gap left by Suarez, but if this whole move goes south I can't say that I'll be surprised.  Balotelli has already proved himself an unstable factor on many teams, and as potentially disruptive in the locker room as Terrell Owens was during his heyday.  The tweet

below seems common sense, but we have to trust that Rodgers has a plan that he's not sharing with the general population.

My final prediction: Balotelli ends up starting about half the games for LFC, and finishes the season with 12 goals.

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